PHD 263: Marine Breakdown
Marine Breakdown
Summary: Amaranth Rian finally finds some comfort aboard the Hestia.
Date: PHD 263 (1/6/10)
Related Logs: None

[ Recreation Room - Deck 8 ]-------[ BS Hestia ]—

The recreation room is a popular gathering spot for off-duty personnel of every rank and department. Round tables are scattered around the room, surrounded by plain metal chairs. Card games are a common occurance, where everything from clothing to snack food is gambled. Other crew members prefer reading or watching vids, though there are no couches in here to cuddle up in. A few shelves boast books and outdated magazines as well as a meager video library that was thrown together by the crew to be borrowed out and returned. Below various pictures of past and present crew members of the Hestia at work and play, there's a long sideboard table with a coffee urn, water dispenser, and clean cups that is constantly kept stocked.
-=[ Condition Level: 3 - All Clear ]=---------

Matto is watching a video on the monitor, some old cartoon characters running around to zany sound effects and having wacky hijinx as he sprawls on the floor nearby, one ankle crossed over the other and arms folded behind his head by way of a pillow, feet waggling in tandem back and forth as his eyes glaze over, the brightly colored toons reflected in their glaze.

The rhythmic heavy echoes of boots is heard long before Rian turns into the rec room. Not pausing in the doorway as usual to spy the people within she stomps into the space, hands on hips in her off duty tanks. Her usual frowning face is even more furrowed as her long legged strides bring her across the room towards the TV and Matto laying on the floor. Pausing a moment she looks down at the pilot, something strange in her eyes but she says nothing, just turns and paces back towards the door. Body and movements stiff.

Matto becomes vaguely aware of someone hovering over him, and his eyebeams shift from soaking up the toons to the woman looking down at him so strangely. "S'rry, 'mI…" he begins, but then she's pacing off, and he trails off, in turn, ".. in the way?" barely audibly murmured.

Rian turns on a dime and paces the same line towards the back of the rec room, shifty eyes looking around, glad that there is so few enlisted here. Heavy boots walk up to where Matto lies again and pause, hands still on her wide hips she stares down at him for a long moment, one dark brow rising with question. "I nee…" she starts then stops, biting her lip and looking around the space just to avoid his gaze for a moment, "I mean, you're.." She cuts herself off again before throwing her hands up in the air with frustration and turning on the ball of her feet, pacing back the length of the room.

Matto stares straight up from under her as she stammers at him, brows lowering and head rolling a little toward one shoulder in a curious look. When she goes, he grunts a little into a half-crunch and rolls up to one elbow, eyes lidding unevenly as his inner ear goes a little dizzy with the sudden shifting of equilibrium. "What's up, guy?" he asks her, casual but friendly, maybe a little drowsy.

Rian again turns and paces the long length of the room, obviously angry and worked up about something. A glazed over gaze shows that she isn't really focused on the moment but perhaps working something out in her head. As she comes back to stand before Matto, her arms drop to her sides and brown eyes look into his sleepy gaze. "You're gay." she states bluntly, one hand pointing towards the floor to add to the statement.

Matto looks briefly toward the door, then to the back of the room again, the arm that isn't carrying the brunt of his torso's weight on it rising to let his fingers tangle in the back of his hair while his gaze finally returns itself to Rian's. "Is that problematic somehow?" he asks her, voice endeavoring to stay casual, but with a hint of tension behind it, as if he were half-expecting she was about to kick him or something.
"No." Rian blurts out, eyes growing wide and fingers fanning out from her palms at her side, "No, that's good." Not elaborating she huffs to herself, turns and paces the length of the room again. Turning back she runs one pale hand through her dark hair, combing it away from her face. Once back to Matto she stops again, shoulders slumping as she finally comes out with it. "I need a favor."

"I'm sure my boyfriend's pleased about the fact," Kissy adds with a quirk of a cheeky grin as Rian gives her stamp of approval upon his proclivities. "What's the matter, dude? Come and sit, you're wearing a hole in the deck," he adds, reaching over with his free hand to pat a spot on the carpet next to him.

Rian stops for a moment, head tilting to the side in question, "boyfriend?" she pauses, "Who?" Not waiting for an answer she moves to the spot next to him, kneeling down and sitting on her heels. Clearing her throat she attempts to calm the ache in her stomach, "like I said, I need a favor from you."

"Can't say," Kissy explains, "He's not out to everyone, and a gentleman doesn't bandy a boy's name about," he adds with a gentle smile. "Sure thing, dude. What can I do?" he asks her, a worried tic creeping into his features. But it's not an are-you-going-to-hit-me kind of worry, anymore, at least. Something really seems wrong with the girl.

Rian nods once, "fair enough." There is no more mention of his boyfriend, not really caring or not wanting to push the subject. Dark eyes dart up and down his laid out form beside her, shoulders tensing as she wrings her hands in her lap, palms sweating. "You can lay there," she points to the ground he's already laying on, "with your hands at your sides, and don't move." Sketchy eyes look into his green pools, dark brows raised with question or perhaps worry.

Matto blinks. And then, blinking again, "Uh," he begins. But— well, he did make it clear his affections are securely attached elsewhere, so, "Okay," he offers gamely, after a moment, and uncurls from the twisted crunch he'd pulled himself into, "This isn't going to hurt, is it?" he asks, a laugh threading through the words as he lays out straight, pushing his hands down to his sides and taking a deep breath as he glances aside up at her.
"No." Rian states plainly, the laugh effecting her as if it were a slap. Entire body tense she bites at her lower lip. It takes her a long minute to finally will herself to move, in the line of fire there is no thought just action, this whole living between the fights is starting to kill her. Finally she just goes for it and shuffles her but down towards Matto's hip, turning her body on her side to lay stretched out beside him. Feeling the warmth of his body against the front of her she inches closer till her chest touches his upper arm. Leaning her head over she places it on his shoulder, closer to his chest beneath his chin, dark hair smelling faintly of lilac shampoo and it spreads across his shoulder and arm. Her thin body next to him is stiff and trembles. She holds her breath keeping her own hands to herself she closes her eyes and says nothing. Just feeling the heat of another against her cheek and listening to the thump of his heart beat.

Matto relaxes somewhat as Rian reclines by his side, keeping his hands where they are, as per her instructions, but turning his head to the side to regard her with a warm smile and even warmer eyes, the proximity not seeming to bother him in the least. He looks up again when her head finds its pillow beneath his chin, letting her have the space, then turning to rub his jawline in a fond sort of gesture against her head. "Would you like a hug?" he murmurs, after a moment or several, letting her get comfortable, not forcing anything on her, but offering the further gesture if she'd like it.

Rian remains stiff against him, the warmth of his body next to her is definitely something she needed. Physical, human interaction but putting her trust in another is not easy. The arm she isn't laying on reaches up to her face as she feels him rub his chin across her head, not even wincing as it moves over a large sore bump that is there. The pale fingers cover her face, hiding it against his chest. The marine begins to shake, short jerky motions of her shoulders and torso, doing the best she can to hide the fact she is beginning to sob.

Matto takes a deep breath and takes that as a yes, swallowing softly and, wise decision or not, moving his further hand to cross his body and then hers, hand planting its ink-covered palm on the side of her back, rubbing firmly in slow, soothing motions from ribcage to hip and back again, "It's okay, hon. Let it out. Just let it out," he whispers to her.

The marine continues to shake within Matto's arms, her face still hidden beneath her palm as it grows red and tears pour out from her eyes onto his shirt. Attempting to calm her racing mind she takes deep, yet staggered breaths, "I'm sorry," she cries in an irregular high pitched voice. "I don't even know you that well." Even with the apology she remains close to him, the warmth and rhythmic sound of his heart comforting her as her tremors slow down.

"Dude, it's fine," Kissy tells her, keeping his voice at a low, caring whisper, even if his words are casual. "Hugs are healing. If you ever need one, I never charge for them. Free hugs, any day of the week." His hand keeps moving up and down her flank, never straying anywhere it oughtn't, nor lingering unduly, but still there's a warmth and heartfeltness about the gesture, his own eyes tearing up a little in sympathy. "Did somebody hit you?" he finally wonders, voice hushed.
Rian sniffles against his chest, the hand that once hid her face harshly wipes the tears from under her eyes and cheeks. "People hit me everyday," she speaks in the same hushed tones, "part of being in Marine training." A few more sniffles and she wipes her wet hand on the thigh of her cargo pants. "It's been nearly nine months now," her breath staggers as she inhales, "and I'm not a machine." Hot tears flow unwillingly from her eyes once more, "I'm used to discomfort, not no comfort at all." Her hand rises up as she wipes her nose with her fingers, "I'm so alone."

Matto moves his hand back off of the girl's torso, slipping it up underneath his paired tank tops, pulling them up as he gathers a bunch of the fabric to offer to Rian's nose as a makeshift napkin, "Blow," he encourages her gently. "Nine months between hugs is a long time," he agrees gently. "I'm of the opinion that people ought to be hugged, and often. Did you… have someone, back before the world ended? A hugger out there on a planet somewhere?" he asks her.

Rian begins to calm and collect herself, a breathless laugh escaping her lips as he offers his tank as a kleenex. Sniffling she places a palm on his chest, pressing down as she pushes her torso upwards. Her back to him now she pulls her legs up close to her chest and hugs them, palms roughly wiping the rest of the tears on her cheeks. "No, there was no certain one. Friends that came and went and…" a sickly laugh, "men when I wanted them around." Cheeks red and eyes watery she looks over her shoulder and down into Matto's kind green eyes, a thankful smile reaching her lips, "thank you."

Matto hunches up, propping his elbows behind him but not making too much of his back leave the floor. "Well, nine months is a long time to go without a proper hug. And no problem, eh? I was about due for a shower anyhow," he joshes about with her in a playfully teasing fashion, reaching out with a knuckle to tweak at her shoulder.

Rian over plays the soft tap on her shoulder and topples slightly from side to side. "It's hard to know who to hug around here." Again she wipes her face, "another marine would beat the tears from me if I asked them for /that/ favor." Turning her torso to look to him again she smiles kindly, "so thank you, really." Another sniffle and she rises from the floor, nimble body making easy work of it. Wiping her hands on her pants again she turns and looks down, "I'm going to hit the showers and then get to bed." Eyes grow shifty once more as she looks about the room before returning her gaze to the pilot. "Our little secret?"

Matto zips, locks his lips, still smiling and lounging there as he amicably tosses away the 'key.' Which effect is subsequently ruined when he goes on, "Of course. Though, if I could beg a question of you…" he begins, "… who told you?" he wonders. "I mean, about… the other thing?" It's not exactly a secret, but it's not something he goes around telling people. Especially Marine folk. Some of them get a little tetchy about it, in his experience.

Rian idly tucks a dark bang back behind a delicate ear as she is questioned. "We met in the chapel once, you were with a girl you seemed really close to and were talking about a past male lover." Shaking her head eyes grow wide a moment, "I wasn't eves dropping or anything, and I havn't told anyone." She clears her throat, shoves her hands into her pockets and starts towards the door pausing once more to say, "I'm not going to. I'm not one to gossip."

Matto swallows slightly as he remembers the evening in question, cheeks growing just faintly flushed and stomach twisting a little bit at the recollection. Octavian. He doesn't talk about the boy often, and only to people he's quite emotionally attached to, so the revelation feels something of an invasion, to him. But she shared something personal with him, too, so— he supposes they're even. Suddenly feeling as though he's known her for much longer than he really has, he looks into her eyes, directly, as he gives her a shy sort of smile. "Thanks. I appreciate it."

Rian nods once, forcing a polite smile to her lips though her eyes and cheeks remain stained red. Turning again she paces to the hatchway, spinning it and with a clank it opens. Stopping with one foot out the door she looks back over her shoulder, "Good night," she speaks in a tone that is very soft coming from a marine. Without waiting for a response she steps into the darkness of the corridor, door slamming behind her.

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